This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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