Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
