no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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