Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
