There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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