You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
