Only a mothe r could love this liver
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize