Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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