i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
