it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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