people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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