Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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