I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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