Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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