Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
