I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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