My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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