she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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