Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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