so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
