last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
