New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
