They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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