I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
