I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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