i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
being pregnant is like rehab
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize