I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
