you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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