just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
