I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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