my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
