Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
it's like iHOP with fire
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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