i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
