haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
