He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
