Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
