when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
