and next time when you feel me up, do it right
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
