well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
