Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
