so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
you had me at cake vodka
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
