so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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