at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
