Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
