Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Randomize
