oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
