ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
