Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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