She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
