At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
