why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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