That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
