Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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