God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
