Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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