Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize