i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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