puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
