Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
