margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
