She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
