we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
