My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
