I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
