Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
